Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Why I'm running

Theodoric announces his candidacy
June 4, 2007

I’m often asked, “Theodoric, why would an eight-foot tall, axe-wielding Tauren warrior want to be President of the United States?” I know what that question implies. It implies that government is a nasty business and whereas I, a level 70 warrior, could lead a clean and wholesome life in Azeroth, as President I will be called on to sully myself with the business of politics. Well, simply put, America, while I haven’t spent much time learning the ways of Washington, I’ve learned enough to know that the ways of Washington must change.

I believe this country needs the sort of leadership that only a topped-out miner/herbalist can offer. I believe the time has come to reject politics as usual and embrace the vision of a massively multi-player online game character, casting aside the conventions of status quo influence peddling and special interest and adopting a new mantra for a new generation. That mantra is this: As goes the World of Warcraft, so goes the world.

I’m in this race because I believe I must be. I’m ready to lead. I’ve conquered trials and dungeons and big scary mobs in the Barrier Hills. I’ve seen the lights of Netherstorm and peered into the Shimmering Flats from atop the Great Lift. I have given much to get where I am and I have been richly rewarded. Thus, in this my 70th season, I feel called to enter that next battle, called to lead a once great nation back from the brink of irrevocable demise. I am ready to lead and I believe America is ready to be led and to once again be the shining city on the hill that invites all to bask in its light.

I’m in it to win it, America. Theodoric ’08!


Update from the campaign trail

Because I am running as an independent, I was not invited to participate in either of the major party debates in New Hampshire during the past week. However, I was in attendance and shared a frank an open discussion with the leading Democratic candidates. As of yet, none has accepted my invitation to debate the issues in a town-hall discussion in Shattrath City.