Why I'm running

Theodoric announces his candidacy
June 4, 2007

I’m often asked, “Theodoric, why would an eight-foot tall, axe-wielding Tauren warrior want to be President of the United States?” I know what that question implies. It implies that government is a nasty business and whereas I, a level 70 warrior, could lead a clean and wholesome life in Azeroth, as President I will be called on to sully myself with the business of politics. Well, simply put, America, while I haven’t spent much time learning the ways of Washington, I’ve learned enough to know that the ways of Washington must change.

I believe this country needs the sort of leadership that only a topped-out miner/herbalist can offer. I believe the time has come to reject politics as usual and embrace the vision of a massively multi-player online game character, casting aside the conventions of status quo influence peddling and special interest and adopting a new mantra for a new generation. That mantra is this: As goes the World of Warcraft, so goes the world.

I’m in this race because I believe I must be. I’m ready to lead. I’ve conquered trials and dungeons and big scary mobs in the Barrier Hills. I’ve seen the lights of Netherstorm and peered into the Shimmering Flats from atop the Great Lift. I have given much to get where I am and I have been richly rewarded. Thus, in this my 70th season, I feel called to enter that next battle, called to lead a once great nation back from the brink of irrevocable demise. I am ready to lead and I believe America is ready to be led and to once again be the shining city on the hill that invites all to bask in its light.

I’m in it to win it, America. Theodoric ’08!

Theo

Update from the campaign trail

Because I am running as an independent, I was not invited to participate in either of the major party debates in New Hampshire during the past week. However, I was in attendance and shared a frank an open discussion with the leading Democratic candidates. As of yet, none has accepted my invitation to debate the issues in a town-hall discussion in Shattrath City.

Theo on the War in Iraq

The single most important issue that will confront the next President of the United States is the question of what to do regarding our presence in the quagmire we have made in Iraq. Before the war in Iraq ever started, I said that it was wrong in its conception. In 2002, I wrote that Saddam Hussein posed no imminent threat to the United States and that invasion would lead to an occupation of undetermined length, at undetermined cost, with undetermined consequences. Since then, I have laid out a plan on the way forward in Iraq that has largely been affirmed by the bipartisan Iraq Study Group led by James Baker and Lee Hamilton.

But the question is not simply whether or not to bring our troops home. If that were the only question, I would answer without hesitation – yes. Still, the bigger question is what to do about the devastation we will leave behind, how to forestall the possible genocide that could result from a protracted civil war, a civil war that now includes a Sunni militia we have helped to arm and train.

The answer to that question is drastic: what Iraq requires is a raid group. We need to put together a 40-man raid group of twinked out 70s and eradicate the insurgents be they Sunni or Shiite, Al Qaeda or otherwise.

I propose eight main tanks – four prot warriors and four belf pallies, each flanked by a resto shammy. In addition, each five man group will include a rogue to support the main tank and deal uber dps, an arms warrior to off-tank, and a fire mage to throw mass aoe at the enemy forces.

In order to be fully up to speed from the moment I enter office, I have dispatched my alt to Baghdad so that he can report back to me on the exact state of affairs in Iraq. Upon his return I will be fully briefed and I will keep you informed of my progress in the formation of a raid group.

That’s my plan, America, and that’s why it’s time to put a Tauren in the White House.

Theo

Theo lets loose and takes a break from the campaign

I'm often asked, "Theo, how does a busy Tauren like yourself unwind?" That's an easy question to answer. At my level, I enjoy nothing more than going places I don't belong, stripping down to my loin cloth and dancing nearly naked in front of enemies, NPC's and Alliance alike. Take the following two examples, one image from yesterday in front of the Princess in Maraudon and the other from this morning on the dock in Menethil Harbor.

Theo on Immigration Reform

I have been asked by a number of supporters to address the issue of illegal immigration. For the record, I believe in border security, I believe in strengthening the US Border patrol both through increased manpower and improved technology and I believe in using every means available to us to shut off the flow of drugs into the country and to keep off our shores those extremists in the world who would use terror to destabilize our society. I recognize that America is part of a world in which threats abroad can become threats at home if we do not rigorously patrol our boundaries and scrutinize those entering the country. About these matters I am resolute.

However, I do not consider any of those matters truly “immigration-related.” Too often the discussion of immigration reform is conflated with the issue of border security. That fact contributes to a discussion of human lives that reduces undocumented immigrants to criminality. I refuse to engage in a discussion of millions of families who work hard and contribute to our society as if those families consisted of human beings somehow less imbued with humanity than the rest of us. Such a notion not only misrepresents the true character of the vast majority of border crossers, it also disserves the rest of us by reducing us to jingoism, thinly veiled racism, intolerance and fear. I will not engage in any discussion that includes such themes.

When the Burning Crusade expansion pack was released, all of us on the Horde side noted the proliferation of Blood Elves entering our territories. I’m sure the same was true for the Alliance who must have felt suddenly overrun by Draenei. I can’t say that I was much different than any other member of the Horde at first. I wondered how we would be able to sustain our culture with such a vast wave of diminutive, cute little things running around speaking their chirpy little language. I worried that my own hometown of Orgrimmar might not be able to provide the necessary sources of employment to sustain we hardworking Taurens, Orcs, Undead and Trolls with the addition of thousands of Belf immigrants.

Of course, as it turned out, the Belves have done nothing to threaten the solidarity of the Horde and in fact, they have contributed immensely to Horde culture through the contribution of their own unique experience and history.

I believe it is time for America to admit a simple truth – there is no way to round up and deport 12 million people even if we wanted to. Moreover, we shouldn’t want to. Undocumented immigrants are an integral part of the fabric of American society. We have nothing to fear from them.

While we’re at it, we should admit another truth – building a 700-mile wall on a 3,700-mile border makes as much sense as dropping a frost totem to slow a Fel Reaver, which is to say it makes no sense at all.

I have written a longer statement about immigration that can be read at this link. My past position statements on the issue can be read here and here. I welcome questions on this subject. Write to me at theodoric08@yahoo.com and I’ll get back to you.

In common struggle,
Theo

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That's right, America. The time has come for a 70 Tauren warrior to be the most powerful creature on the face of the earth. Just click the comments icon below to add your name to the list and support Theodoric's campaign. Much more to come later.

Theo Unites the Horde and the Alliance

As President of the United States I will require the trust and support of the Alliance, my former sworn enemies, if I am to accomplish the goals I have set for myself and if we, as a people and an online gaming community are to overcome the petty differences that impede our becoming what we are destined to be, namely, a global society of cooperation, collaboration, tolerance and inclusivity. I have embarked upon an auspicious undertaking to show my good will to my Alliance brothers and sisters. Last night I disrobed, save for my loin cloth and [Admiral's Hat], and braved the city of Iron Forge. It took a ghost run or two to make my way past the guards and the flaged 70s, but I eventually made it to the Deeprun Tram.

Once there I unflagged and proceeded to cavort with the commuters. In time, I think I grew on them, as demonstrated by the following series of screen captures.

This must have been one heckuva sight for Alliance noobs scooting between IF and SW.

Here's a lovely little Nelf shaking her groove thing with the future President of the United States.

It turns out humans can cut quite a rug. But eventually the night had to come to an end. I took a moment to dance with a flagged 70 . . .

Finally, I bid farewell to my new friends . . .

then I headed back to the depot where I called it a night.